invitation etiquette

Quite a lot goes into creating the perfect Wedding Invitation that is unique to your circumstances.
Below you’ll find some of our suggestions and answers to our most commonly asked questions.

WHO IS HOSTING

Most likely you have received a wedding invitation before where the names of the bride’s parents are listed at the top of the invitation. The names at the top of the invitation are meant to list who is hosting the event. While traditionally the bride’s parents were listed at the top of the invitation, these days we see a lot of variations. It is very common to see both sets of parents listed on the invitation, as well no hosts at all. See below for some of the common host examples.

IF THE RECEPTION IS AT ANOTHER LOCATION

Traditionally weddings were always held in places of worship and then a reception would be held at another venue. If this is the case for your nuptials, the traditional way to indicate this is to write “and afterward at the reception” at the bottom of the invitation. Accompany this with a reception card insert that lists the name of the location, address, time, and attire. A more modern approach to indicate this would be to note it as “reception to follow” or “dinner and dancing to follow” followed by the name of the location.

A NOTE ON ATTIRE

Guests will want to know what to wear to the wedding, and traditionally it was indicated in the bottom corner of an invitation. These days, since a details card is always included (and most likely prompts guests to visit the wedding website), we recommend writing attire on the details card or reception card. We recommend being clear with attire: white tie, black tie, black tie requested, black tie optional, formal attire, and cocktail attire are some attire descriptions we suggest. If you wish to add some flare by adding descriptors such as "mountain chic," we recommend elaborating on what this attire means on your wedding website.

WHO IS INVITED

If you’re worried that you’ll have a few guests who don’t take the hint that they don’t get a “plus one,” a great way to indicate this is by choosing an inner envelope as part of your invitation suite. Most guests toss the outer envelope when they open your wedding invitation, not remembering if there was an “and guest” or another name written on the envelope. With an inner envelope, you can make it very clear who is invited. If you’re very concerned, reach out to us and we are happy to propose some additional ideas for how to make it clear who and who is not invited.

WHAT TO (AND WHAT NOT TO) INCLUDE IN YOUR SUITE

Make sure to include the following in your suite:

Wedding Website: you will want to direct guests to your website so they can explore travel, accommodations, registry, and more. Do not include this on the main invitation card, always save the website for a separate card or as part of a details card.
Reply By Date: make sure to allow yourself a week buffer to follow up with guests who haven’t responded before your caterer or venue needs your final headcount.
Entrée Selection (if required): If your caterer or venue requires menu selections in advance, make sure to request this on your invitation. It’s not as simple as just including a line. Make sure to ask guests to initial which entrée selection they are choosing. For a couple, this makes it very easy to know that John is having steak and Mary is having sea bass.

Don’t include the following in your suite:

Registry Information: while it’s fine to include your wedding website in your suite, exclude any mention of the registry.
Unnecessary Information: don’t flood your invitation with detailed directions to the venue or notes on what the weather will be like. Keep things simple and guests will visit your wedding website to learn more about particular conditions and directions.

WHEN TO SEND

We like to mail out invitations on the earlier side. This way there is a buffer for longer mail transit times, and you have plenty of time to collect RSVPs (and do seating assignments) before your big day. For destination weddings (more than 50% of your guests are traveling to the destination) we recommend mailing 14 - 18 weeks before your wedding date. For local weddings, we recommend 10 - 14 weeks. Give your guests plenty of time to RSVP; make your reply by date around three-to-four weeks after you mail your invitations. Your reply by date should be about one month from your wedding date, but please make sure you don’t have specific early deadlines with your venue or caterer prior to determining the reply by date.

WHAT ADDRESSES GO WHERE

It is quite common for the hosting family to collect RSVPs, so make sure to ask amongst your group who will be in charge of that. If you’ve hired a planner, some planners may include this as part of their planning services. For your outer envelope, the address should be the best address for guests to mail gifts.

INVITATION WORDING EXAMPLES

Do you have a specific question about how to word your wedding invitation?
Reach out to us and we’d be happy to assist in proper etiquette advice.